One of the most difficult things to do as a parent when your child comes out to you is to not be judgmental. It’s hard to do at first and may even cause you some anger but when you love your child you will find a way to love them regardless of what they choose to do with their lives. One thing you should try to do when your child comes out to you is to have patience. Your child coming out to you as a gay man or a lesbian could be a big change in their lives, so it is best to give them time and let them work out what they want. You should also realize that they are doing it because they are ready for it, not because they hate you.
So many parents struggle when their children come out to them as gay. Being a parent and being a caring parent is about patience and empathy. If you feel that your child’s life could be better with someone of the same sex then you need to support them and help them see that there are other options available to them. If you are judgmental when your child comes out to you as a gay man or a lesbian then you will only hurt yourself and your loved ones when they come out to you because you will simply not accept their choices. Instead you must be supportive and give them the tools to handle it in an effective way and try to understand what they are going through.
Accepting a child regardless of what they decide to do with their lives when your child comes out to you as a gay man or a lesbian is the best thing that you can do as a parent. Of course you need to talk to them and help them through this new change in their life but you should never reject them because of who they are. I know that this may be hard to do because of all of the media and societal pressures on children to act a certain way and believe a certain way. But love does not have to mean love and acceptance for someone who is different from you in this area. There are so many great places and people to find information on how to love someone outside of your family. Believe it or not, you can find resources on how to love someone of any sexual orientation and if they are a gay person, no problem!
One issue when your child comes out to you as gay is that they may feel very alone. They may also fear that they are going to lose you as a parent because of their situation. One good way to help them through this is to create support for them. This includes understanding the situation and knowing that they are not trying to hurt you and that they just want you to be there for them. It may even be a wise idea to start a support group for your child as well, something like the parent of the same-sex twins or support groups for gay couples of all orientations.
There are some things you can do when your child comes out to you that will make them feel accepted. Accepting them for who they are is the first step to making them feel comfortable around you. Of course, they are going to have to come up with some of their own ideas to help them feel accepted and to encourage you to do the same. You can start by simply understanding that your child wants to talk to you and that he or she just might want to come out and talk to you about his or her feelings. Even if that child comes out to you in a very subtle manner, you should still try to listen intently, because you never know when that kid is just on the verge of letting loose and talking to you about his or her feelings.
It is possible to help your child through their coming out experience when your child comes out to you. The more you focus on listening to what your child has to say, the more likely it is that your child will be able to handle his or her feelings when they come out to you. By simply being there when your child comes out to you, they will be more likely to be able to work through some of their feelings and to move on with their lives.